RSVP Etiquette. Does it really exist!

I wish I could have put the following disclosure into my wedding invitations.

 

Dear guest.  Please RSVP, yes that means stick this little card back in the mail with your names checked and your menu choice by the date listed. There is a reason there is a stamp on there.  Not following this common courtesy could result in the following.

 

I have a restaurant venue doing a special menu for me.  In fact it is a Indian Restaurant who will be doing a more Lebanese style menu for my guests inclusive of beef kabobs which they normally do not serve beef at their restaurant so I have to know what your dinner choice is. If you show up and there is no beef kabob for you, I don't want to hear about you griping over having to go with the Mango Chicken!  And as with any wedding we are paying a caterer, venue or hotel to feed you.  Depending where or what your venue is this could be anywhere from $20.00 to $90.00 or more per person.  And that is just the food!  If you happen to be lucky enough for me to let you drink for free, my per person costs arise and I have accounted for you but I don't need to be getting your daughters boyfriends fed and his drink on.  I also don't need the venue thinking I am sneaking in more people than paid them for and I don't need you going hungry because you did not rsvp. 

 

But wait.  You see I am the bride and I will not be working the door as I am supposed to be having a blast on my special day.  Your names have to be on the list and if you were given a plus one option, I need your guests name because security will be checking you off the list with instructions that no one not on the list be allowed to enter.  Bringing the gal you picked up at the bar the night before is probably not going to fly with me anyway but I do need to know who you are bringing somewhat reasonably prior to me handing over the list to the security company. 

 

Last but not least folks when you are sent a invitation with specific names, it normally is not acceptable to write in your husbands half side of the family or that new girl your son is seeing unless I gave you free reign to put any names.  Even with that option, be courteous to me.  There is a reason for specific names and usually the reason is because there is a budget!  I am trying to keep my reception financially friendly to my budget as it is not a social event where I am spending half a grand on your family alone to eat and drink for free! I fail to see where you do not understand this when I got your rsvp back with five extra names written on it. 

 

Thanking you kindly for your on time rsvp in the mail and me not having to give you a hasty call.