Defining the 'Vegan' guest to your venues.

 

 

 

 

My husband's BFF wife is vegan.  And honestly if only can be a fly on the wall in their life for a week.  She is die hard 1001% Vegan and the husband is a big time meat, potatoes and everything with meat type of guy. 

 

Regardless she is the only 'Vegan' I have attending our venue.  Now the term 'Vegetarian' has hit my little old home town but 'Vegan' is quite foreign to them.  I am sure if my reception was at a five star hotel they could handle this a bit better.  Hence a all veggie kabob for dinner is about as Vegan as my venue can get for me. 

 

We are hosting a meet and greet dinner for the out of town guests the evening prior with a bit of a fiesta theme.  My cousin and her husband are doing this for me in their beautiful huge garden.  A margarita machine and fajita's.  I asked if she would do a meatless green chile and keep all the ingredients separate.  And I told her I was going to pick up a 'Soyrizo' for my Vegan guest.  Now of course the name and term of a meatless chorizo is also foreign to folks in little town Colorado. 

"Oh well then she can eat shrimp fajitas!" My cousin bellowed in all her naivetés.  Hahaha.

 

No no my dear folks.  Vegetarian no meat.  Pescatarian, way off. Raw Foodies and different league overkill.  Vegan., nothing made of any animal or living thing with eyes and a pulse.  No meat, no fish, shellfish, nothing made of eggs, butter, dairy.  Which also set off another reminder that the desserts and such are made in traditional ways. 

 

So I have one Vegan guest but will be stopping off at 'Whole Foods' on our way in from the Denver airport to also buy some vegan cookies and a vegan cupcake for dessert for her for our wedding reception.  I hope they notice that I am going above and beyond appeasing her diet wishes from creating a protein packed flavor punch you can't tell it's not chorizo fajita filling for her with fried potatoes and black beans.  I first learned of 'Soyrizo' when saw a before she was famous episode of Aarti Paarti. 

I went out and found the product at my local Safeway, Sprouts and Whole Foods here in Northern California.  But also think my knowledge of these various levels of being Veg and living in California has helped me figure out where to go for such product when I am not in Northern California.  I have my cousin separating the grilled veggies from the meats and a meatless chile.  We got cookies and a cupcake and think that is about as high as I can go on the 'vegan'mometer' of hospitality:)  Ole!!

 

When 'Step-Family' and mis-step's of Family rears it's ugly head in your wedding planning!

 

I am sure this story many of you have.  Unfortunately 'bridezilla's not only surfaces out of stress of detail, but can also surface out of family issues.  My story is somewhat of a half a familiar tale.  Dad meet's woman with two kids.  Before his only daughter returns from a graduation trip her kids are moved into her room and office as their own bedroom.  Dad picks fight with real daughter.  Real daughter flees to Arizona with a aunt and attends college.  Real daughter even though has done nothing wrong comes back and kisses the father's ass as the new wife looks on puffing on her cigarette pissed as hell they have reconciled.  Dumb ass real daughter thinks all if fine throughout the course of the next 20 or so years.  Real daughter meets man she will marry who has a daughter and then realizes what a sneaky low down lying woman her Father's wife has been all these years..  Step sister decides to pick fight with real daughter over something out of the blue that the real daughter still has no idea where stemmed from. 

 

Real daughter is now engaged and gives these two females a closed case pass to attend a congratulatory dinner in which they both declined and made fools of themselves.  Not only that they no showed with lies of work and kids events to having a tooth pulled...and obviously how much respect they have for the real daughters father..  The man they call Husband and Dad now. 

 

Real daughter is over it and gives a second pass sending them invitations in to which whatever is being fed to the real father, is making his life hell.  They supposedly want me to sit down and kiss their asses because per the message, "They are willing to sit down and forgive you!"

 

FOR WHAT!  And since the Father is now older and obviously losing his memory big time of all the evil things these women said behind his real daughter's back; the real daughter has had to put her foot down.  Thank goodness for surrogate family in times like this like your venue owners, close friends, family who have your back!  Not in a rabble rousing sense but to say, 'We don't like the way you have treated your daughter and let her be treated over the years!  We will not be there to see you and your royal family but to see our beloved friend, niece, cousin and her lifelong love!  Shape up evil family members. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.. IT'S ABOUT THE WEDDING COUPLE SO DON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF!  As even I am hiring security and will have your ass escorted out!

Favors, Vases and Old School Cousins!

I received all the playing card decks I had ordered from 'Oriental Trading'.  Mid May I was on a flight to Colorado to finalize some details of my wedding reception. 

One of my aunts, her friend and my cousin put together the vases and table favors.  The vases are from Dollar Tree and the seashells from Hobby Lobby.  With some clear colored glass beads, they are all ready to go for the table centerpieces with some flowers on the big day.

 

 

My aunt had the patience, or maybe nothing but time to do the playing card favors.  We did them in various ribbon colors/designs and the stickers are pre printed, "Thank You For Joining Us On our Special Day".  I believe it was a roll of 100 for $2.50.  I was pretty happy with her work since all I had to di was sit, have wine and supervise:) 

I picked up some faux crystal bowls from Dollar Tree with clear scoops along with some old time various candies and butter mints.  All individually wrapped.  I'm a big fan of individually packaged everything for times like this as there are so many viral infections going around these days. 

Irony of having some 'old school' family is that they think your wedding reception is like a local dance. Firstly there is a reason I hired a DJ who knows only to go off the list I suggest.  And that the 'Mustang Sally' crew are most likely in the Senior Home about now and should not hit my guest's ears. 

I also had lunch at the venue where will be holding my venue.  I'll keep quiet about that but I truly do like the owners.  Hence get a bit of feeling of no 'likeness from one of the servers.  All I got to say is expect a bit more love for what paying them from her to my guests.  It's all very frustrating all these little details. 

Final is I let my cousin go with me to meet my DJ and finalize a song list.  Another annoyance.  "IT'S JUST THREE SONGS.  MY GOD WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUCK UP AND STRICT!" 
"BECAUSE IT'S MY DAMN WEDDING RECEPTION AND IT IS NOT GOING TO BE A CHICANO HO'DOWN!"  

lol - Ah multiple weddings are made for rich women but your once in a lifetime, is all yours!  Own, do it all you and your other half! 

Curbing Crazy! My quash of inner Bridezilla and the Invitation Nightmares!

You see shows on television like 'Four Weddings' or 'Bridezilla's'.   Wedding planning no doubt can be stressful.  Even though we eloped in Key West, does not mean I am not going a bit bonkers at times of worry of our reception in July.

For whatever reason you might be going crazy over planning your wedding, I'm sure like a snowflake no two situations are the same. 

My frustrations stem from the fact that my reception is in a town I don't live in and most of the vendors are not on the modern tech highway of communication.  I have lived in the Silicon Valley too long to have to chase you down via phone.  Thank goodness my venue contact is tech friendly and already networked in my town to refer me to reliable other vendors for transportation or a rental car.  Whatever it may be.  I am used to zipping off an email or text for a quick answer.  And I expect it rather quickly.

Also am at a point in life where I don't see a reason to have to invite that cousin whom I have tried to keep in contact with but has not bothered to reciprocate for over 20 years.  And guess can chalk that up to a lot of cousins as we just all kind of left a small town.  We are not one of those family's who all stayed and grew up in the same town/city or nearby.  Hell does that happen anymore with old school Americans?  My Mother passed in my early 20's and I can't off the quick of my mind think of one relative keep in touch with from her side anymore.  So if on a budget and that cousin of yours who has not bothered to reciprocate a Christmas card but now has three kids... maybe I sound 'cheap' but I am realistic.  Depending on your per person price for dinner, you can be anywhere from $100 to $200 feeding that cousin and his family who probably won't bother to keep in touch after another 20 years.  And if it is not just one cousin or many cousins times that number.  Like said if I am shitty or cheap for thinking this way, go to another blog.  I am not in my 20's and if my Daddy said 'no holds barr expense, you can have anything as I am paying for it all.  Then we can invite all the cousins whether not talked in over 20 years or never met. I would probably suggest extra security and a therapist also.  Hence in my situation, budget wise it's time to be realistic.  If you can't return an email or call in over 20 years, then most likely we will not be talking after my reception.  Makes no sense as am paying for my own wedding. 

If doing table assigned seating, always fun learning that your Uncle so and so no longer talks to your Uncle so and so over something five years ago.  Another challenge but with common sense place folks to kind likes, origins or who you know will not get into an argument with each other.   I also learned that two of my other half's best friends who are coming do not care for each other.  Yes I see the difference but just knowing a bit about them, know what new folks can seat them with for the evening of new meets, greets and I know a great time! 

And then there might be an issue with you, the bride and a few relatives.  Frankly my family and I are tight but my relationship with my father's wife and her daughter hit the skids a few years ago.  Right now they are threatening my father with a no show to our reception.  Which is perfectly fine by me.  But will be interesting to see how it all turns out.  Remember ladies, your special day is about you and your husband.  Not any sparring, selfish, ill wishing step relatives or non step relatives! 

To 'OPEN BAR' or 'NOT TO OPEN BAR', that is the question?

If you ever work with a restaurant venue directly; preferably one that has their banquet and liquor costs laid out for you will save you a lot of worry and headaches.  The venue I have chosen does not which again know I am taking a huge risk but at the same my tough negotiation skills kind of leaves the venue and myself both at a 50/50 balance. 

Sometimes I feel like I am somewhat related to the man am dealing with at the venue as we have insulted each other a few times, misunderstood (or what we said when did not hear what wanted) and made up! 

The almighty question is how open will my bar be?  I remember my cousin had not only open bars around her venue as well a tequila fountain.  That was not a good thing for those who just could not realize the reality of free+alcohol=  You better know your limit or YA NEVER KNOW WHERE OR WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YA! 

And most recently saw at a wedding with an open bar a few, well all of the bride's college mates partook heavily of the open bar to later running around on the grass in their mini dresses, falling, legs up in air and well let your imagination tell ya!  Another not knowing me from Adam came up to me sloppily slurring.  "Where you from?  GET THE F--K OUT OF HERE, I LUVVVVV SAN FRANCISCO!" 

Well I my friends are a bit older than your 20's, married with children.  And they could get a bit tipsy but not out of control.  There is my cousin whom gets her vodka martini drink on and proceeds to walk around hugging everyone, "I love you cuzz.  I love you aunty."  I am not worried about the potential open bar liabilities with my attendees.  However I am worried about being presented with an outrageous bill.  Call me paranoid.  I am going on faith but will be questioning a too high bill in my little ole home town in Colorado. 

The vendor emailed me with a cost on a signature drink and I flipped a bit as mentioned that I could get the same here at a venue in San Francisco.  Which had to really educate myself and bite my tongue on it all as alcohol costs are higher in the State of Colorado due to the high alcohol taxes.  So a sane and reasonable request to your venue without a surprise bill at the end of the night is the following.

Tell your venue or ask if they would consider a number of bottles option.  Tell them you want three of Crown Royal, Five Johnny Walker Black, Two Centenario Anejo..... whatever it is you want and let him give you a 'bottle cost'.    The venue would or should be willing to work with you as long as they are making some profit on booze that they have just sold to you outright for your event.  They do not have to guess expectations as you know your guests beverage likes for the most part.  Your guests get their drinks, you don't have any unexpected costs and you pre negotiated the per bottle price.  We had already priced out the champagne and beer but the alcohol part was a challenge until we understood why the costs seemed high and how we still got a great deal.  For those of us who have to really budget, this is the way to go.