It's Finally Over!

 

The finale of the long planned wedding reception and I am traumatized at all the money that was washed away.  Too many games by others and a lovely post tornado rain storm.  Yup we arrived to some rain as a tornado warning had just passed.  By the way I had a outdoor venue of a restaurant whose lounge area and the restaurant were full of two other parties until at least 9pm. 

 

I arrived and the friend who promised to have everything perfect was doing early shots at the bar as my wedding favors and goodie bags still sat in a storage closet of the restaurant.  I love how she looked so tired of putting everything together as she drunkenly pulled tampons out of her purse while ordering another shot. 

 

My assigned bartender was pouring like we were a bar on the port of Oakland when the sailors used to dock.  Then she had the nerve to put out a tip jar to my guests which promptly came down since I was paying them 18% on top of the total cost.  That is very generous in a small town.

 

The rain subsided enough to be dry and we could eat but then promptly high winds came in as well the rain.  Our best man stood there doing his speech as the guests had retreated to the overhang.  Of course had to yell at my early starter to SHUT UP so folks could hear him. 

 

The cookies were raided before their time and many guests did not get any.  Our slow dance song started to sound like a broken dragged record which knew at that point the DJ's equipment was going south due to the rain and stop dancing to tell him to shut it down. 

 

He as well was playing a lot of songs never asked for.  Eventually we were able to move into the lounge area and the cake was cut by a staff member as I had had it between the loud drunken one the restaurant owner told me I was legally responsible for.  The DJ doing his own thing.  The bartender doing sailor pours and having to negotiate another three bottles of alcohol.  There was barely any room to dance.  And about the last hour I was hitting some double Johnny Walker Black neats compliments of the owner as think he felt a bit bad for our rain issue.  After three doubles I said buckle up bitches and it was on.  I gave most of all the décor away to one of the servers as well the rest of the cake.  Did some dancing and was elated the venue closed it up for me. 

 

All had to say is despite my attention to detail being washed away and the legal liability guest, the food was awesome.  The cake was delicious.  Guess one of my fave memories of the evening was dancing in the rain to Earth Wind and Fire.  Then we were off to a private party.. with a roof:)  Oh well one day will look back and laugh.  Until then don't even want to hear John Legend's name!

 

RSVP Etiquette. Does it really exist!

I wish I could have put the following disclosure into my wedding invitations.

 

Dear guest.  Please RSVP, yes that means stick this little card back in the mail with your names checked and your menu choice by the date listed. There is a reason there is a stamp on there.  Not following this common courtesy could result in the following.

 

I have a restaurant venue doing a special menu for me.  In fact it is a Indian Restaurant who will be doing a more Lebanese style menu for my guests inclusive of beef kabobs which they normally do not serve beef at their restaurant so I have to know what your dinner choice is. If you show up and there is no beef kabob for you, I don't want to hear about you griping over having to go with the Mango Chicken!  And as with any wedding we are paying a caterer, venue or hotel to feed you.  Depending where or what your venue is this could be anywhere from $20.00 to $90.00 or more per person.  And that is just the food!  If you happen to be lucky enough for me to let you drink for free, my per person costs arise and I have accounted for you but I don't need to be getting your daughters boyfriends fed and his drink on.  I also don't need the venue thinking I am sneaking in more people than paid them for and I don't need you going hungry because you did not rsvp. 

 

But wait.  You see I am the bride and I will not be working the door as I am supposed to be having a blast on my special day.  Your names have to be on the list and if you were given a plus one option, I need your guests name because security will be checking you off the list with instructions that no one not on the list be allowed to enter.  Bringing the gal you picked up at the bar the night before is probably not going to fly with me anyway but I do need to know who you are bringing somewhat reasonably prior to me handing over the list to the security company. 

 

Last but not least folks when you are sent a invitation with specific names, it normally is not acceptable to write in your husbands half side of the family or that new girl your son is seeing unless I gave you free reign to put any names.  Even with that option, be courteous to me.  There is a reason for specific names and usually the reason is because there is a budget!  I am trying to keep my reception financially friendly to my budget as it is not a social event where I am spending half a grand on your family alone to eat and drink for free! I fail to see where you do not understand this when I got your rsvp back with five extra names written on it. 

 

Thanking you kindly for your on time rsvp in the mail and me not having to give you a hasty call.

 

 

Having a 'Adult Only Wedding'!

I knew it was going to come eventually.  The scorn or comments regarding someone's children attending our venue. 

 

"What.  Are our girls now allowed at your wedding reception?"  (huff huff)

"I am not sure if you got to see the invitation but we made it a adult only affair.  C'mon it's a fun night out with your lovely wife.  Alone.  Having a blast!"

 

No matter how you put it.  You will have those who praise you for giving them a reason for their parents to watch the kids for the night.  Or you are going to be table gossip for some time until someone else's decisions deem their attention.
"Oh I know have you ever heard anything so ridiculous!  No children.  Just unbelievable she would do something like that to exclude the children!"

 

Either way in life or business, you are not going to please everyone.  They will get over it.  And if they don't, probably need a life!

Defining the 'Vegan' guest to your venues.

 

 

 

 

My husband's BFF wife is vegan.  And honestly if only can be a fly on the wall in their life for a week.  She is die hard 1001% Vegan and the husband is a big time meat, potatoes and everything with meat type of guy. 

 

Regardless she is the only 'Vegan' I have attending our venue.  Now the term 'Vegetarian' has hit my little old home town but 'Vegan' is quite foreign to them.  I am sure if my reception was at a five star hotel they could handle this a bit better.  Hence a all veggie kabob for dinner is about as Vegan as my venue can get for me. 

 

We are hosting a meet and greet dinner for the out of town guests the evening prior with a bit of a fiesta theme.  My cousin and her husband are doing this for me in their beautiful huge garden.  A margarita machine and fajita's.  I asked if she would do a meatless green chile and keep all the ingredients separate.  And I told her I was going to pick up a 'Soyrizo' for my Vegan guest.  Now of course the name and term of a meatless chorizo is also foreign to folks in little town Colorado. 

"Oh well then she can eat shrimp fajitas!" My cousin bellowed in all her naivetés.  Hahaha.

 

No no my dear folks.  Vegetarian no meat.  Pescatarian, way off. Raw Foodies and different league overkill.  Vegan., nothing made of any animal or living thing with eyes and a pulse.  No meat, no fish, shellfish, nothing made of eggs, butter, dairy.  Which also set off another reminder that the desserts and such are made in traditional ways. 

 

So I have one Vegan guest but will be stopping off at 'Whole Foods' on our way in from the Denver airport to also buy some vegan cookies and a vegan cupcake for dessert for her for our wedding reception.  I hope they notice that I am going above and beyond appeasing her diet wishes from creating a protein packed flavor punch you can't tell it's not chorizo fajita filling for her with fried potatoes and black beans.  I first learned of 'Soyrizo' when saw a before she was famous episode of Aarti Paarti. 

I went out and found the product at my local Safeway, Sprouts and Whole Foods here in Northern California.  But also think my knowledge of these various levels of being Veg and living in California has helped me figure out where to go for such product when I am not in Northern California.  I have my cousin separating the grilled veggies from the meats and a meatless chile.  We got cookies and a cupcake and think that is about as high as I can go on the 'vegan'mometer' of hospitality:)  Ole!!

 

When 'Step-Family' and mis-step's of Family rears it's ugly head in your wedding planning!

 

I am sure this story many of you have.  Unfortunately 'bridezilla's not only surfaces out of stress of detail, but can also surface out of family issues.  My story is somewhat of a half a familiar tale.  Dad meet's woman with two kids.  Before his only daughter returns from a graduation trip her kids are moved into her room and office as their own bedroom.  Dad picks fight with real daughter.  Real daughter flees to Arizona with a aunt and attends college.  Real daughter even though has done nothing wrong comes back and kisses the father's ass as the new wife looks on puffing on her cigarette pissed as hell they have reconciled.  Dumb ass real daughter thinks all if fine throughout the course of the next 20 or so years.  Real daughter meets man she will marry who has a daughter and then realizes what a sneaky low down lying woman her Father's wife has been all these years..  Step sister decides to pick fight with real daughter over something out of the blue that the real daughter still has no idea where stemmed from. 

 

Real daughter is now engaged and gives these two females a closed case pass to attend a congratulatory dinner in which they both declined and made fools of themselves.  Not only that they no showed with lies of work and kids events to having a tooth pulled...and obviously how much respect they have for the real daughters father..  The man they call Husband and Dad now. 

 

Real daughter is over it and gives a second pass sending them invitations in to which whatever is being fed to the real father, is making his life hell.  They supposedly want me to sit down and kiss their asses because per the message, "They are willing to sit down and forgive you!"

 

FOR WHAT!  And since the Father is now older and obviously losing his memory big time of all the evil things these women said behind his real daughter's back; the real daughter has had to put her foot down.  Thank goodness for surrogate family in times like this like your venue owners, close friends, family who have your back!  Not in a rabble rousing sense but to say, 'We don't like the way you have treated your daughter and let her be treated over the years!  We will not be there to see you and your royal family but to see our beloved friend, niece, cousin and her lifelong love!  Shape up evil family members. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.. IT'S ABOUT THE WEDDING COUPLE SO DON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF!  As even I am hiring security and will have your ass escorted out!

Favors, Vases and Old School Cousins!

I received all the playing card decks I had ordered from 'Oriental Trading'.  Mid May I was on a flight to Colorado to finalize some details of my wedding reception. 

One of my aunts, her friend and my cousin put together the vases and table favors.  The vases are from Dollar Tree and the seashells from Hobby Lobby.  With some clear colored glass beads, they are all ready to go for the table centerpieces with some flowers on the big day.

 

 

My aunt had the patience, or maybe nothing but time to do the playing card favors.  We did them in various ribbon colors/designs and the stickers are pre printed, "Thank You For Joining Us On our Special Day".  I believe it was a roll of 100 for $2.50.  I was pretty happy with her work since all I had to di was sit, have wine and supervise:) 

I picked up some faux crystal bowls from Dollar Tree with clear scoops along with some old time various candies and butter mints.  All individually wrapped.  I'm a big fan of individually packaged everything for times like this as there are so many viral infections going around these days. 

Irony of having some 'old school' family is that they think your wedding reception is like a local dance. Firstly there is a reason I hired a DJ who knows only to go off the list I suggest.  And that the 'Mustang Sally' crew are most likely in the Senior Home about now and should not hit my guest's ears. 

I also had lunch at the venue where will be holding my venue.  I'll keep quiet about that but I truly do like the owners.  Hence get a bit of feeling of no 'likeness from one of the servers.  All I got to say is expect a bit more love for what paying them from her to my guests.  It's all very frustrating all these little details. 

Final is I let my cousin go with me to meet my DJ and finalize a song list.  Another annoyance.  "IT'S JUST THREE SONGS.  MY GOD WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUCK UP AND STRICT!" 
"BECAUSE IT'S MY DAMN WEDDING RECEPTION AND IT IS NOT GOING TO BE A CHICANO HO'DOWN!"  

lol - Ah multiple weddings are made for rich women but your once in a lifetime, is all yours!  Own, do it all you and your other half! 

Curbing Crazy! My quash of inner Bridezilla and the Invitation Nightmares!

You see shows on television like 'Four Weddings' or 'Bridezilla's'.   Wedding planning no doubt can be stressful.  Even though we eloped in Key West, does not mean I am not going a bit bonkers at times of worry of our reception in July.

For whatever reason you might be going crazy over planning your wedding, I'm sure like a snowflake no two situations are the same. 

My frustrations stem from the fact that my reception is in a town I don't live in and most of the vendors are not on the modern tech highway of communication.  I have lived in the Silicon Valley too long to have to chase you down via phone.  Thank goodness my venue contact is tech friendly and already networked in my town to refer me to reliable other vendors for transportation or a rental car.  Whatever it may be.  I am used to zipping off an email or text for a quick answer.  And I expect it rather quickly.

Also am at a point in life where I don't see a reason to have to invite that cousin whom I have tried to keep in contact with but has not bothered to reciprocate for over 20 years.  And guess can chalk that up to a lot of cousins as we just all kind of left a small town.  We are not one of those family's who all stayed and grew up in the same town/city or nearby.  Hell does that happen anymore with old school Americans?  My Mother passed in my early 20's and I can't off the quick of my mind think of one relative keep in touch with from her side anymore.  So if on a budget and that cousin of yours who has not bothered to reciprocate a Christmas card but now has three kids... maybe I sound 'cheap' but I am realistic.  Depending on your per person price for dinner, you can be anywhere from $100 to $200 feeding that cousin and his family who probably won't bother to keep in touch after another 20 years.  And if it is not just one cousin or many cousins times that number.  Like said if I am shitty or cheap for thinking this way, go to another blog.  I am not in my 20's and if my Daddy said 'no holds barr expense, you can have anything as I am paying for it all.  Then we can invite all the cousins whether not talked in over 20 years or never met. I would probably suggest extra security and a therapist also.  Hence in my situation, budget wise it's time to be realistic.  If you can't return an email or call in over 20 years, then most likely we will not be talking after my reception.  Makes no sense as am paying for my own wedding. 

If doing table assigned seating, always fun learning that your Uncle so and so no longer talks to your Uncle so and so over something five years ago.  Another challenge but with common sense place folks to kind likes, origins or who you know will not get into an argument with each other.   I also learned that two of my other half's best friends who are coming do not care for each other.  Yes I see the difference but just knowing a bit about them, know what new folks can seat them with for the evening of new meets, greets and I know a great time! 

And then there might be an issue with you, the bride and a few relatives.  Frankly my family and I are tight but my relationship with my father's wife and her daughter hit the skids a few years ago.  Right now they are threatening my father with a no show to our reception.  Which is perfectly fine by me.  But will be interesting to see how it all turns out.  Remember ladies, your special day is about you and your husband.  Not any sparring, selfish, ill wishing step relatives or non step relatives! 

To 'OPEN BAR' or 'NOT TO OPEN BAR', that is the question?

If you ever work with a restaurant venue directly; preferably one that has their banquet and liquor costs laid out for you will save you a lot of worry and headaches.  The venue I have chosen does not which again know I am taking a huge risk but at the same my tough negotiation skills kind of leaves the venue and myself both at a 50/50 balance. 

Sometimes I feel like I am somewhat related to the man am dealing with at the venue as we have insulted each other a few times, misunderstood (or what we said when did not hear what wanted) and made up! 

The almighty question is how open will my bar be?  I remember my cousin had not only open bars around her venue as well a tequila fountain.  That was not a good thing for those who just could not realize the reality of free+alcohol=  You better know your limit or YA NEVER KNOW WHERE OR WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YA! 

And most recently saw at a wedding with an open bar a few, well all of the bride's college mates partook heavily of the open bar to later running around on the grass in their mini dresses, falling, legs up in air and well let your imagination tell ya!  Another not knowing me from Adam came up to me sloppily slurring.  "Where you from?  GET THE F--K OUT OF HERE, I LUVVVVV SAN FRANCISCO!" 

Well I my friends are a bit older than your 20's, married with children.  And they could get a bit tipsy but not out of control.  There is my cousin whom gets her vodka martini drink on and proceeds to walk around hugging everyone, "I love you cuzz.  I love you aunty."  I am not worried about the potential open bar liabilities with my attendees.  However I am worried about being presented with an outrageous bill.  Call me paranoid.  I am going on faith but will be questioning a too high bill in my little ole home town in Colorado. 

The vendor emailed me with a cost on a signature drink and I flipped a bit as mentioned that I could get the same here at a venue in San Francisco.  Which had to really educate myself and bite my tongue on it all as alcohol costs are higher in the State of Colorado due to the high alcohol taxes.  So a sane and reasonable request to your venue without a surprise bill at the end of the night is the following.

Tell your venue or ask if they would consider a number of bottles option.  Tell them you want three of Crown Royal, Five Johnny Walker Black, Two Centenario Anejo..... whatever it is you want and let him give you a 'bottle cost'.    The venue would or should be willing to work with you as long as they are making some profit on booze that they have just sold to you outright for your event.  They do not have to guess expectations as you know your guests beverage likes for the most part.  Your guests get their drinks, you don't have any unexpected costs and you pre negotiated the per bottle price.  We had already priced out the champagne and beer but the alcohol part was a challenge until we understood why the costs seemed high and how we still got a great deal.  For those of us who have to really budget, this is the way to go.

Let's Be Realistic - Pre Planning Your Reception!

There is not much you can do about the food as either the caterer is going to be fabulous or anywhere under that level. 

Your DJ however should have a good reputation.  And there are so many out there.  It is a given that your DJ can make or break your reception and you want to choose one that really knows how to read the crowd and take control of all the events.  Father, Daughter - Son Mother dances.  Toasts.  Champagne toast and anything else you want him to do.  I believe I got lucky as utilizing a guy who has been doing his thing for 30 years with a great reputation.  So I have yet to see but less worried about him than I am about the food. 

In a prior post I spoke of how I learned of what matters and what might not matter.  Wasted money on some pre printed items and décor.  Some ideas that I rid of because will save me time and probably money.

1.  Name placards:  Although initially they might be great and maybe some folks will actually stay at their assigned table; just by personal situation I am not sure if I have that type of disciplined crowd.  Hence I will give assigned table seating.  Which seat you take at their assigned table should be their choice reasonably.    I.e.  Although I know of two guests coming of Greece origin and thought that might be a reason to sit them at the same table, however maybe one will have a better time talking to my cousin Joe about motorcycles.  Either way there is no guarantee you will stick to the table I assign you to and why waste my time printing out all those names, and placing all those name cards.

2.  Monogrammed items:  You will discover many things out there that you can personalize with you and your loved one's names or even pictures.  Choose wisely as these are the little things that end up in the trash.

Our centerpiece vases we picked up from 'Dollar Tree'.  Estimating 15 tables we bought 15 vases and paid a total of $15.00.  We also purchased glass rocks in colors of the ocean from 'Dollar Tree'.  We picked up three large baskets of seashells from 'Hobby Lobby' at $9.99 per basket.  These should be super simple to put together.  Pick up flowers day of your venue.  Place them on the tables and all done.  Easy, budget friendly centerpieces.

Our favor bags were typical small paper bags purchased from a 'restaurant supply' store.  Yes since tis a restaurant supply store you might end up with their smallest case of 2000 bags for $17.00.  The bags were then hand stamped with various cute sayings.  The stamps I purchased from 'Michaels'  .  And you can generally go to their website and get a 40% off coupon for a shopping trip.   As for the remainder of all those small bags, well my other half has a 10 year old daughter and I'm pretty sure I'll be using the rest for lunches, school events or barbecue goodie handouts for a long time to come. 

But Wait.... There Is Still a Reception to Follow!

A common thing nowadays is the whole destination wedding, and reception later.  My other half still wanted to have a reception in my home town in Colorado.

On way back from Florida, we stopped in Colorado.  Literally got into Denver at 7pm.  Got the rental car and drove to my home town arriving about 10:30 in the evening.  My cousin had food waiting for us and of course we stayed up a bit late chatting until 2am.

My other half and I had to wake to meet my Father for breakfast around 8:30am.  Oddly enough my Father did not look to happy but congratulated us.  He went on to talk about my step Brother's business.  Something about the Government Laws and Radicalism.  And then proceeded to bring up an issue between his wife, his step daughter and I.

Now this is part of the hell of getting married and planning receptions, etc.  This is when the family of who is talking to who drama awakens and comes out of the woodwork.  This is when you could potentially start to need a therapist.  I kindly mentioned to my Father that his step daughter picked a stupid fight with me on Facebook of all places then ran away.  (Delete/Block).  His wife followed suit there after so kindly let them put on their big girl panties and address me themselves.  STAY OUT OF IT! 

We only had the one day as we would be back on the road to Denver about 1:30am that following morning to return our car and catch our 6am flight to San Francisco.  By 10am we were touring a couple of hotels for our out of town guests.  By 10:45am we were ordering our cake from the bakery, placing a deposit.   By 11:30 we were having lunch with my cousin's before a tasting at the venue.  Ok yes this does not make sense but I wanted the local chicken tacos on white more than I did to sample the kabobs for our venue. 

Our venue I chose because of the patio.  It's a lovely location with this open large patio with a historic water fountain.  Hence it had since been taken over and been a Indian Restaurant since 2011.  The only Indian restaurant within any distance from S.Colorado up to Colorado Springs.  And these guys think I am stupid.

I was originally shocked at the quote of $29.95 per person as if you know my home town, this would surely be a cost for steak, lobster and domestic caviar.  When the average ball room is not exceeding $18.00 per person, why would you think I am this stupid. 

Plus I am familiar for what I would pay for a Indian venue in the Bay Area.  Hence I gave them a much easier menu and much less than I would get if had Indian food so this is where it all begins.  At this point I had given up my ballroom and I want this patio.  I asked them to agree to $18.00 per person with 15% Gratuity because it was buffet style.  The man I was negotiating with decided to turn and ask a server in which again I hate being bold face lied to, and I know that 18% is not standard in Pueblo Colorado but at least missing taxes and no hall fees with a cash option.  It is not something would suggest that many do especially if you do not trust the venue.  But I think with this option they know and I know they are being well taken care of for their time.  Alcohol negotiation is another thing but again they were more than fair with me for one keg of beer.  I am still seeking out some wine charges from them but thing going to tap it at wine, beer and soda.  With a regular venue this would all be laid out for you in a contract.  I am taking a huge risk to save money. 

Well after trying what I sort of asked for and four additional dishes that I did not ask for but the younger brother got competitive with the older brother.  Note to venues.  Don't play games with a customer's time as it could lose you the business.  I was given four other options I did not ask for but ironically one of them my cousin and husband liked a lot.  So it was a go of a choice from each brother.   The negotiation really did not go how I wanted but at least we got a price per person settled and a price on a keg and champagne.  I must really love that damn patio!

The Battle of Dress Colors is Over. We are eloping!

I was pretty miffed at the drama over the dress colors by one of my cousin's.  But at my age, it was enough to make me draw the line and say, 'We don't need no stinkin' ceremony!' 

My other half and I were going to visit his mother in Florida in which he promised to take me to Key West to tour the 'Hemingway House'.  Voila, 'Let's elope in Key West!'

This idea quite possible was the greatest idea of all. I had never been to Florida.  We were going to spend two weeks there. It turned out absolutely the best decision ever as we were non stop touring everywhere from Orlando, Ft Lauderdale, Boca, Miami, Miami Beach down to the Keys!  Hence back to eloping. 

If you plan to elope in a state you are not familiar with, yes get on the internet and find out the local laws.  If we were Florida residents, we would have had to get our license, wait two weeks and take a class at your local church.  Since we were not residents of Florida State; we were able to do it all same day.  Just have your driver's license or Govt Issued ID in tow.  Literally same hour and be on our way.  The license is sent to a couple of bureaus and you get it all nice and neat in the mail at your home a couple weeks later.  The cost for us vs a Florida Resident was about $30 more but overall around $90 something dollars.  Again always check with the courthouse in the city/county where you plan to elope to make sure you do not forget anything.  And maybe make a call to verify what you are reading is current. 

"All Those Little Things" she said!

Some women know exactly what they want for their wedding these days.  It's not like the days were you just had a wedding.  Now we have themes, different bars, candy bars, games.. whatever you want.  If you want to have your wedding at a ZOO or diving underwater, You can basically do anything you want these days.  Get hyped up on ideas or annoyed to flamboyance by catching 'Four Weddings' on television.  Which was my first mistake as I am not some 20 year old but it definitely is an interesting show of ideas.   

If you have the money to spend on whatever you want,  you go girl!! However for folks like me, my creativity and a good deal will have to do.  I of course first started looking at the ole 'Oriental Trading' Wedding catalogs.  They have a whole line of different themes of pre printed items from mints, favor boxes, cupcake boxes, napkins, cups, banners, balloons... everything under the sun.  Just go to orientaltrading.com and request a catalog to be sent to your home. 

Of course I initially book marked so much unnecessary stuff that had a potential $300.00 of items that I would still have to put together and or fill.  A child hood chum of mine told me that she has went to so many weddings that a lot of these little things folks do not even notice, take or they get tossed by the venue.  I'm not a fan of my money sitting in the trash but it also took a trek to my other half's best friends wedding in Orlando FL to make me realize what my friend was telling me was true. 

My other's half's best friends wedding was held at a lovely outdoor venue.  A botanical gardens location of sorts with a mini amphitheater for the ceremony.  And a lovely short walk towards the larger amphitheater to where the reception began.  Very cute and simple rustic.  They did not have a guest book but a 'guest slice of wood'.  Yes a big one from a tree you could write your best wishes on.  Your names were clothes pinned to a line as to which table you were to sit at.  You saw oversized games across the grass and a large candy bar as well different types of popcorn.  Note to self is you have to keep a candy bar out of the day sun if outdoors.  The candy did ok but the caramel popcorn started to turn into popcorn nuggets. 

They also had bottles of water with personalized labels which.  Yes not many went for the water as they did the open bar.  Extra money but surely fun having leftover bottled water with your names on it to take home. 

The centerpieces were mason jars with the gabby rustic band and knitted flowers you can get from 'Hobby Lobby' or 'Michaels' with of all flowers, baby's breath and they looked super beautiful.  Who knew baby's breath, a very inexpensive type flower could look so cute as a centerpiece!  Yes that idea I definitely stole. 

There was also a cute little gunny sack.  Inside a bottle of hand sanitizer with a heart on the bottle with the couples name.  Cute for sure.  My other half loves hand sanitizer.  However this was one of those other items where my friends feedback was ringing in.  "folks don't care about those things." 
And there were a lot of little gunny sacks with hand sanitizer left behind.  I grabbed a few for my honey and the sister of the groom said, "I grabbed 30.  Guess I'm set."   I laughed but it taught me that all those little details you spend so much extra on, might go to waste.   The food, the dj and good company are going to make or break ya.  A full bar with no good music might render havoc also but that's another story!

I returned to my 'Oriental Trading' catalog.  'Cute beer cozies with funny sayings. OUT.  Personalized this or that. OUT.'  and a lot was written off with exception of the two things I had to have for my wedding receptions favors.  Playing cards and pre printed stickers thanking everyone for joining in our special day to save the ink on my personal printer;) 

There is a million things you can do for your wedding depending on your budget.  If you are no holds bar, don't keep reading my blog as you do not have my budget.  If you are looking to low budget with big outcome.  Ya gotta be creative and know where your best deals are.  If you really think you want something from Oriental, sign up online for their emails as they do at least once a month have a free shipping no matter the cost option.  You can inexpensively buy whatever it is you want to see in your hands and if it will work for you.  Also read the reviews online on the items.  Some even though a great deal do not close properly.  Some are well over and above worth the deal.  I have often found that a lot of similar if not same products are found at 'Michaels', 'Hobby Lobby', and 'PartyCity'. 

Gowns and Gossip!

After countless calls to my Father to ask if he had read over the contract.  He finally eeked out a few words when his wife was not around, "Would 2k help you out?"  I told him my other half would call him eventually to discuss it.  He sounded either tired or sad.  That bothered me but having known his wife since I was 17, eh I figured she was upset because when it came to anything regarding me; she always had to have control through my father.  Or control of his involvement with me. Especially if money was involved.  I in my mind had already knew that at my age, why would I expect my father to be able to contribute even if I was his only child and my first and LAST marriage ever.   

Ok well we chose a dress color and ironically the color was discontinued from 'David's Bridal'.  We chose 'David's Bridal' as one of my cousins standing up is in Colorado and the other in Washington State.  'David's Bridal' is perfect as they have locations nationwide.  We decided on another color in which my cousin who was to be my Maid of Honor said, "Oh.  Greg said it will make our skin look flushed out with our tans.  We like the color APPLE."  I said.  "This is my wedding.  Not a burlesque show of red.  BTW your husband is not in my wedding but if he will get into a gown with some high heels he can wear whatever the hell color he wants!" 

We came up with a third color which all loved.  And I thought I was making this super easy as let them choose whatever dress they wanted as long as in that color and satin.  My cousin in Washington State was open to anything.  However here we go again with my maid of honor.  She called me and chose a private designer off the internet.  The dress was three times the money.  I could not figure out why when I give you a myriad of styles of choices, she was pushing this other designer.  Aha.. good ole' Aunty Gabriella who cannot keep a secret to save her life told me, "She does not like satin."   I was miffed and even more angry that had to hear it second hand.  So it began to bother me.  I told my other half, "Let's just elope and maybe have a dinner party in Colorado.  I dunno anymore." 

Congratulations! You are getting married!

So the day has finally come that you can officially call your friends and family and tell them you are getting married.  Yayyyyyyy.  Cherish the moment as it's all fun and games from there.

My boyfriend and I had actually been together for 8 years.  So it surely was a sealed deal of good news to many we told.  We had already thought about a location to do it and let go of the decision to have a small ceremony and reception in Monterey CA to my hometown in Colorado.  We figured Colorado was a sane distance for those having to travel.  Easier financially for family, friends and especially our venue.  I come from a small town in Colorado.  Or small town/city.  Well lets put it this way the population there is over 100k but not yet 150k.  There is only one cab company.  You get my point. 

So we started with the calls and the plans.  Since neither of us are no spring chickens we felt a small feeling of lets at least have a couple of our closest stand up in the ceremony.  My other half chose his two long time best friends and I chose my two have never stabbed me in the back, always loved me no matter what cousins to stand up with his friends.  VOILA.  Plans seemed perfect!  My father was happy.  Well at least he was at this point. 

We began to call on venues, hotels and of course looking at dresses and all the hoopla for the wedding reception.  The ball was rolling.  Within a week I had a polished quote from a lovely ballroom at the local college in my hometown.  I did not think it was lovely then but keep reading and you will learn why appreciated it so much. 

It had listed every cost down to a 'T'.  A place that runs a tight ship adhering to local laws I read line by line for the hourly charges for the bartender, servers, security, for the ballroom itself, food, table and chair covers included.. it when on and on.  I signed the contract and had to bug my Father to get down there asap to put down the deposit.  Little did I know his troubles with his wife were just about to begin.